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Midlife Party

How to Plan and Survive Your Midlife Birthday

My most memorable childhood birthday could be a case study for why some people need therapy. My mother’s baby died during childbirth a few weeks before my 8th birthday, so my gift was a big doll with all the clothes that had been intended for my dead baby sister. There weren’t any inflated jumping castles […]

Wedding in Paros, Greece

Midlife Dating: That Hot Feeling isn’t always Menopause

Nothing screams “pathetic loser” more than being a middle-aged divorcee alone at a festive party where beautiful couples are trading sloppy kisses and giggling like demented clowns. There’s not enough spiked punch in the world to soften the pain of pretending it doesn’t matter. Many of us graze along the buffet table hoping the crunch […]

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From Harley-Davidsons to Hostess Ding Dongs

In a former life, I rode a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, drank gallons of cold beer, ate greasy chicken wings, and made love at noon in a mountain meadow. Now I drive an SUV, sip laxative tea, and snack on protein bars. Passion is pleasurable, as long as the lights are low and the experience requires no […]

toes-cabo

The Joys of Traveling with Children

  If given the choice between traveling with small children and having a root canal, I’d be at the dentist office sucking laughing gas before noon. I adore kids but the logistics of getting them more than 100 miles is too much to endure unless they can be shipped like golf clubs or crated like […]

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Give Life a Middle-Age Laugh

Because women over age 50 want yet another test, I’m offering the “Midlife Laughter Challenge” for those who still believe that life needs a middle-aged chuckle instead of a middle finger. The challenge is to laugh at least once a day for two weeks. It’s mainly because angst is so overrated, and if we’re all […]

Midlife Cabernet: My Grandkid has More Chromosomes than Yours

In January of 2009, a woman in California gave birth to eight children, giving her a total of 14 healthy kids. She was single, unemployed, living with her parents, and later she received income by filming a pornography video and taking welfare. The following January my daughter gave birth to a precious baby girl who […]

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